Now that I finished -- I could understand the "dilemma" that some of my friends were experiencing. Let me start by saying this: Kaje Harper is one of my top favorite authors in MM genre. I knew, even from dedication, that this story would be very personal for her. For those reasons alone, I wanted to like it. So yes, I also felt bad that I thought it was just okay, and in fact, this was one of my least liked story from her. Which truly, as a reader, who just couple of days before 5-starred a story from Kaje, it was difficult.I guess my issues were similar to some of the earlier reviews. However, I will try to be fair and write MY opinion clearly.The beginning and premise were promising. I thought it was wonderful having one of the MCs, Kellen, working as an author, on a brink of publishing his book. I enjoyed that insider's perspective to the book world and found myself smiling on his take over checking book purchases and reviews. I also loved Mike -- for being shy and socially inept 37-year-old virgin, who rambled when he was nervous. The fact that Kellen's mother suffering from dementia was also an added external plot (in regards to Kellen and Mike's relationship) in which I was intrigued upon.Unfortunately when it came to the middle part, it was dragging. I pondered what my problems were and I thought it was the 'lack of balance'. I wonder if the story worked better for me, if it was only written from Mike's perspective. Because you see, as we also got Kellen's point of view, I became very frustrated. I knew, being a sole support of his mother, Kellen was on edge. He was a prideful man, and much like his own mother, that he didn't want people to pity him. However, because I knew what happened to him, it frustrated the hell out of me to read how he seemed to "use" Mike to get some control of his life (like when he asked to tie Mike up). I felt that he was 'abusing' Mike a bit. Because Mike was not coming to the relationship as an equal part of Kellen. Mike felt inexperienced. Kellen was his first boyfriend and the one introducing him to sex. Knowing that Kellen planned to break up with Mike made me want to reach the book and slapped him for being stupid.I felt that MAYBE if I didn't know about Kellen's problem beforehand, if I didn't know what was going on inside his head, I would felt better. Because I would felt the compassion I needed. And I would feel bad of jumping to conclusions. But because I knew, it backfired and ended up for me not caring. Which again, truly sounded bad, because I should have compassion for someone experiencing this in real life and not judging them.Mike ended up the better character for me in the end. Although I also questioned whether him loving Kellen was because he was his first boyfriend? That Kellen was the first person who didn't make fun of his being socially inept? Or was it really true love?In addition, I wasn't all that impressed with so many sexual froclikings that happened in this book. I got bored and ended up skimming most of them.
