196 Worshippers
59 Worshipping
amishoard

Ami's Hoard

To Read is To Live

Whistle Pass - Kevad I guess I'm the minority again (sigh). I don't like this story as much as other reviewers. This only pass (barely) as my 3-stars so-so rating. What I do like: (1) The story has no sex scenes (thank you for telling me this, Deeze!); (2) I think the romance between Charlie and Gabe is kinda sweet, amidst the noir atmosphere and the period of being queer is very, VERY life-threatening; (3) the twists from the mystery is quite intriguing (who is really responsible for Charlie coming to Whistle Pass? What does Roger want? etc).My issue?The writing style. I can't click with the writing. I find myself re-reading paragraphs several times to understand what's going on. Some of the timeline seems to mess together, especially when Charlie remembers his war-time ... For example: ....Thunder cracked. The overcast sky opened its reservoir and heavy rain soaked him, bathed him. Lightning flashed. He whirled full circle, scanning the area. A clap of sound. An explosion of noise. The sky flashed branches of yellow. Charlie threw off his coat, crouched, his eyes frantically searching for where the attack would come from. More explosions. Mortars. Screams chewed his brain.“We’ve got to get out of here!”“No!” Charlie shouted. “Stay low! It’s an ambush. You don’t know where they are!”(Page 20 in .pdf)......The first paragraph is Charlie in Whistle Pass, and the next one he's in war? It throws me off! I must reread it to realize, oh, Charlie is just remembering. But it happens several times -- and it reduces my enjoyment in reading ... So, the story is okay, but the writing definitely doesn't inspire me to look for another story by Mr. KevaD anytime soon.